1: The one who won’t stop bragging about going to the more “exotic” places
“Yeah, you know, Italy’s great and all, but Eastern Europe is far more interesting to me, more off the beaten path to me, you know”
These people are just the worst. Some people want to be treated like Christopher Columbus simply because they went to Bulgaria instead of France. In reality, the more touristy places are usually like that for a reason. That’s not to say there’s no value in going to Eastern Europe, but it doesn’t make you more adventurous or special. The natural habitat of these people is the common room of a hostel.
2: The smug person who asks loads of pointless questions on tours
“So before we enter the next room in this beautiful historic home, let me just ask you, what forest did the wood in that bookcase over there come from?”
Anyone who’s been on at least two guided historic site tours probably has encountered the type of person I’m talking about. This species of traveler’s natural habitat is often the middle or the back of a tour group, where they hold up the group for 20 minutes in each room in the tour, usually asking questions that are barely related to the tour at all. They often act very smug, and try hard not to be rude. In reality these people are rude in a different way, and rightfully hated by everyone else in the tour group.
3: The dude who leaves or enters a hostel dorm at 2 am
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up!”
I think quite a few travelers (including myself), who have been on delayed flights can confess that they have been this type of person at some point. But still, I don’t care whether you whisper an apology. I was trying to ****ing sleep! So, even though it is sometimes inevitable, please, fellow travelers, try not to be this person!
4: The budget travel know-it-all
“Let me tell you something, if you know where to eat and all, it can definitely be possible to travel to Oslo on $30 a day”
Travel should be done cheaply, and it’s often more immersive and fun to travel on a budget. But budget travel should not be a contest, or a way people try to act like they are superior. If you managed to get by in Oslo on $30 a day, good for you! The rest of the world doesn’t care.
5: The luxury travel know-it-all
“Jeez Man, I could never fly 14 hours in economy!”
These people are just snobs. Plenty of people manage to do 14+ hour flights in economy. If I have extra money to spend on travel, I’d rather spend it there than when I’m on the plane. These people hang out a lot on airline nerd websites, where they compare the different airline’s first classes and business classes. And they act like it’s a normal thing to stay in a five star hotel. In the rare occasion that this species of traveler is found in a hostel, they do nothing but complain.
6: The smug, pseudo-swaggy, swearing bigot who tries to be cool
“Yeah, uh huh, I think I’ll go to some s***hole Eastern European country, where they drink loads of vodka and s*** and then I’ll see some overrated castles or some s***, and then I’ll go to some Balkan country or some s*** like that…”
I’ve met quite a few people like this, and usually they are the ones who have traveled a bit, but haven’t traveled much. It’s to some extent understandable that they would rely on preconceived notions of a place to justify their choices of where to go. But please, when you’re lying on the couch talking like this (see above), you just make me want to puke. Some people really are bigoted and love to act all smug about it, as if they are above all those “socialist political correctness freaks”.
7: The one who just won’t shut up
“Oh, you’re from Boston, that’s awesome”. So I have a friend who lived in Boston and really loved it. I mean, the city really has a lot of character and I think it’s so amazing that I finally met someone from Boston. You must love the Red Sox, oh, or the, um, Celtics is it?…”
I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve done everything I can to politely indicate that I’m no longer in the mood to converse. Putting in earphones, being less responsive, all that. But some people still just don’t know when to shut up.